Hello! ‘Tis still the season to be jolly and all that jazz! So in keeping with these festive holidays, let’s talk about still another traditional holiday symbol besides Christmas trees and poinsettias. So let’s talk mistletoe!

Now the typical thought that comes to mind with mistletoe is a romantic one – you know – as in kissing under the mistletoe! But did you know that just one little itty bitty sprig of mistletoe can accomplish some pretty superhuman, fairly fantastic feats!

Here are a few mighty magical mistletoe myths from yonder year. Armed with just one simple mistletoe sprig you can:

• Ward off lightning!!!

• Prevent might mares!!!

• Drive out witched!!!

• Put out fires!!!

• Find buried treasure!!

But wait, folks, that’s not all!!! Mistletoe can also cure mumps; get rid of green apple tummy aches; and crack open safes! Farmers can also increase their yields by adding some chopped up mistletoe leaves to their spring planted crops.

And here is one that I really like! Dairy farmers, give a sprig of mistletoe to the first cow to calve on New Year’s Day. Doing this will ensure the success of your dairy! Gees, I wonder if you have to kiss the cow to seal the deal? Who needs the Dairy Compact anyway, when you can easily press a mistletoe sprig into immediate service?

So, what’s with this plant anyway? Does Harry Potter know of all these magical powers?

Well, believe it or not – many years ago, like back in the good old Middle Ages, people used to be very superstitious. And besides, it seemed that this magical, mystical mistletoe grew without regular, normal roots, and it grew in some pretty weird mysterious places, like high in trees. Keep in mind that all of these alleged accomplishments were accumulated over the years by people from long ago who had entirely too much time on their hands!

Actually mistletoe is a parasitic plant that attaches itself to the host plant and sucks the nutrients, the water, and the living daylights out of the host. And there are hundreds of different mistletoe species, most native to Europe. Good news, mistletoe is not native to northern New York. The only places mistletoe can be found up here in the North Country are in the hands of roaming Romeos and jerky gigolos!

So if you spot someone of the masculine persuasion trying to steal a kiss under a hovering mistletoe, make sure that this romantic Romeo is following all of the official, okie dokie mistletoe rules. This lucky mistletoe-wielding fellow must pluck a berry from that mistletoe sprig each and every time he steals a kiss. And he must stop this mistletoe kissing when all of his berries are gone. Notice I didn’t say when all his marbles are gone! Pretty cool, huh?

What isn’t too cool is the fact that this magical, mystical, mythical mistletoe is actually really and truly really poisonous! All parts – the mistletoe stem, the mistletoe leaves, the mistletoe berries – all are poisonous to eat!

So you really must keep real mistletoe away from your real children and your real pets. And remember that first cow to calve on New Year’s – she really should wear that mistletoe sprig, not eat it! And it really may be a really good idea to stay away from real mistletoe altogether. Go with the plastic stuff!

So party hardy this season, but play it safe! And keep that Christmas tree fully watered!

Remember – Eat Smart New York!

And – Bye – Talk to you soon!
D